Arrived on the beach today at ten to twelve to find that the early crew had done an amazing job in clearing the mess from yesterdays procession and air display. Lots of compliments from the public (oops nearly a Freudian slip there, missed the L out) I hear so many people saying how they keep coming back to Swanage, "The Naage" as it is often referred to, because it is unspoilt old fashioned sea side, without too much blaring music. I'm a big fan of the traditional seaside scene, Punch and Judy seems to be dying out so It is great to have a show right on my doorstep.  I've caught most of the show as I pass to and fro so if the professor ever wants a day off let me know and I'll dust off my Swazzle.

 Managed to pick up a pair of flip flops today, they looked abandoned and there was nobody nearby so in the bag they went. On arrival back at Bin Central was approached by a woman asking if I had seen them. I vaguely remembered them in the last bag I had picked up but as luck would have it the truck from the depot came along and I gratefully hurled it into the back, along with many others, The truck was by the kerb and I tried to remember which bag it was. By process of elimination we found them, gave them a rinse under the tap and handed them back to the grateful owner who explained that her intrepid son had been swimming out at sea and came back to find them gone. I was hurrying, normally I leave clothing that looks discarded until my next pass before bagging it but this was my last one of the day and my snap decision turned out to be wrong. Ooops!
My favourite sand sculptor had been at work again:

 stats: 16051 steps 6.84 miles

I've just taken delivery of a few copies of my book, so if you want a signed copy stop me on the beach and its yours for £6.75.

If you have enjoyed reading this blog why not take a look at some of my other work, My book "The Art of Coarse Boating" is available at: Buy The-art-of-coarse-boating
 Also see my own website: jeffdray.co.uk

Today was the first big day of the carnival kicking off with the display by the Red Arrows, slimmed down to 7 aircraft instead of the usual 9, is this part of Cameron's cuts?

 This was followed by the Carnival procession which rumbled around the town with the usual variety of floats and organisations taking part.

,

some dodgy looking types in the procession.

One of the rowing club's pilot gigs pretending to be Jason's Argo, complete with Golden fleece and talking tree.

Once the procession was out of the way there came the task of starting to shift some of the tons of litter that had been dropped, Two of us did our best until our shifts were over and with the aid of the van drivers collected, bagged and removed a couple of truck loads.  it was a bit of a herculean labour and will probably take another day to get on top of. The main thing was to ensure that the worst was dealt with, broken glass being an obvious priority.

Stats: 15108 steps 6.44 miles

I've just taken delivery of a few copies of my book, so if you want a signed copy stop me on the beach and its yours for £6.75.
To help support this blog please click on the adverts, this provides a few welcome pennies into the coffers.
If you have enjoyed reading this blog why not take a look at some of my other work, My book "The Art of Coarse Boating" is available at: Buy The-art-of-coarse-boating

A busy day on the beach with the beginning of the world famous Swanage Carnival. This mostly involved a lot of pre-recorded music being played from the stage, a bloke in a Robot suit scaring the kids and a firework display tonight at 21.45. It was interesting to note that although the firework technicians had set up an exclusion zone around the banjo pier somebody had got as close as they could to the beast part of half a ton of explosives and lit a barbecue and were happily grilling their sausages, almost underneath the tape fence.
My sight of the day was a magnificent Mayan temple sculpted from sand

Strange conversation of the day: A lady approached me very apologetically, she told me that she had spilt a load of chips near the loos. She went on to explain that she had been washing them under the tap because her child had got sand in them. They were in a cardboard kid's meal box and the bottom of it fell out when it got wet. She was complaining that her child didn't have anything to eat now and should she ask the shop for some more?
The day finished with me doing a screening of Moonlight Kingdom at the theatre, then home for something to eat as the long awaited firework display got under way. There were thousands of people on the beach for the display and I can only feel for my colleagues who have the early shift tomorrow and face a mountain of clearing up before I clock on at 11.30.
I've just taken delivery of a few copies of my book, so if you want a signed copy stop me on the beach and its yours for £6.75.
Stats: 21790 steps 9.29 miles
If you have enjoyed reading this blog why not take a look at some of my other work, My book "The Art of Coarse Boating" is available at: Buy The-art-of-coarse-boating

Also see my own website: jeffdray.co.uk

Another lovely day on the beach, despite the dire warnings of stormy weather we got away with a bit of cloud which disappeared in the afternoon. This means that, of all the people who confidently told me what the weather was going to do, half were completely wrong, a quarter were half wrong and a third were a quarter wrong. You have ten minutes to produce a pie chart and a Venn diagram of this distribution. Answers on a postcard please.

There were some interesting moments snatched from overheard conversations on the beach. Along by the Stone Quay there are the remains of some rail tracks preserved on the route where stone wagons used to be loaded and shunted to waiting ships.  These rails are of an indeterminate gauge and certainly could not accommodate any modern rolling stock.  One knowledgeable person was telling his family how, when the train line was connected with the mainline at Wareham once more, the trains would come all the way to the water's edge.  If they did passengers would alight and fall directly into the sea. Another pointed knowledgeably and stated: "They look much closer than they are, according to the map the Needles are about 20 miles away but they look as though they are just along the coast."  Sadly what he was looking at were the Old Harry Rocks, which are just a couple of miles away, whereas the Needles, on the western end of the Isle of Wight, are about 20 miles away in the opposite direction.

I've just taken delivery of a few copies of my book, so if you want a signed copy stop me on the beach and its yours for £6.75.
Stats: 16925 steps 7.21 miles
If you have enjoyed reading this blog why not take a look at some of my other work, My book "The Art of Coarse Boating" is available at: Buy The-art-of-coarse-boating

Also see my own website: jeffdray.co.uk

A later start today, worked 8-2 and when I got there the beach was filling up, the weather not quite as hot as it has been. Depending on which forecast you read, tomorrow is going to be either: a bit cloudier, torrential rain all day or the hot weather is going to last all summer long. As we are on the Isle of Purbeck any or all of these scenarios is possible.
People were enjoying a traditional day on the beach, lost of sand castle building (none of which had planning consent)  I saw an excellent sand sculpture in progress and felt drawn to take a picture. It was interesting to note that Dad was in charge of the bucket and spade and the kids were relegated to bringing supplies of damp sand.

Round by the we cleared a lot of mess as the bins were overflowing and while we were there we were serenaded by some brilliant buskers, there were three of them one playing the guitar, one an accordion and one laying down a beat with a cajón. They made an upbeat noise and the pet parrot was definitely the star of the show as she sat on the accordian, riding up and down with the playing. 
Her name was Ruby, I didn't catch the names of the humans she was with.

Ruby and her human friend.

Now that I have finished for the day I'm off for a swim.
Today's stats: 12712 steps, 5.42 miles

If you have enjoyed reading this blog why not take a look at some of my other work, My book "The Art of Coarse Boating" is available at: Buy The-art-of-coarse-boating

Also see my own website: jeffdray.co.uk

Today being Wednesday and my day off it was inevitable that I would have to work, as though only having one day a week off wasn't bad enough.  The morning was spent getting ready for the rowing session with the local youth club who have a scheme to put kids through a British Rowing certificate scheme and today was the first day. We launched the boat and they went out for a paddle around, The kids got the chance to try a spell at the oars and a spell at the helm as coxswain. A good time was had by all, the sea was very kind to us and the weather continues to be spectacularly good.

 The sea temperature is becoming a lot more friendly and more and more people are taking the plunge. After the session on the water I had been asked to do some weeding for an old couple so I reluctantly loaded tools and set off, a sea swim seemed far more attractive than a dusty garden. I spent a couple of sweaty hours pruning and weeding before taking the waste to the tip, I mean local civic amenity site, and finished off the day.

If you have enjoyed reading this blog why not take a look at some of my other work, My book "The Art of Coarse Boating" is available at: Buy The-art-of-coarse-boating

Also see my own website: jeffdray.co.uk

Another blazing start on the beach.
Socks with sandals are very much in evidence, it is great that people are more concerned with personal comfort than the opinions of the fashion Nazis. I eagerly await my first sighting of a knotted handkerchief to prove that Swanage is indeed the archetypical old fashioned seaside town. It is the last link in the chain. Sadly there are still a lot of inconsiderate people around who leave a lot of mess,  I am often approached by people who are shocked at the amount of rubbish left. They usually comment on what a good job we do.  I don't think I have ever had a job where people show their appreciation so much.

Noticed a car parked nearly all day in the clearway on Shore Road. Is there no justice? he had no tax and parked all day using a disabled badge, even though there is no exemption on that stretch of road. I publish the photos in an attempt to name and shame.

 Sadly the ubiquitous baseball cap seems to hold sway these days. I should point out that nobody over the age of five should wear one back to front.
some excitement when a poser in a small sports boat persisted in driving it too close to the beach, putting swimmers at great risk of injury. A polite request from the beach wardens was ignored so the big guns went in and escorted him to a more suitable area, along with a lot of abuse and threats and "Do you know who I ams"

The pillock in the sports boat, note how close to shore he is

 The day was rounded off with a session with the rowing club and a fully dressed swim which was absolutely gorgeous, the long hot days have finally brought the water in the bay up to a sensible temperature.

Today's Stats are: 18362 steps, 7.82  miles

If you have enjoyed reading this blog why not take a look at some of my other work, My book "The Art of Coarse Boating" is available at: Buy The-art-of-coarse-boating

Sunshine really brings out the filthy buggers.

My first task today was to visit the steps leading up to the beach huts where some kind soul had left his dinner of the previous evening on one of the steps.  That wouldn't have been too bad but it had passed through his digestive tract first. He completed the deal by using his underpants as loo paper and had left them draped over the top of the mound. The sun had been on it and the bluebottles had started to get to work. I covered it with a shovel full of sand and went back to Bin Central to collect the necessary items to restore propriety and fragrance to the scene.  That done I observed that the beach was filling up to capacity, the strong sunshine and cloudless sky had brought the crowds in force and the beach traders, whilst not actually smiling, were looking a little less grumpy than usual.

One thing that all beach goers should know: burying your rubbish does not make it go away.  One tide and a bit of wind will bring it back to the surface. Compound this by leaving letters addressed to yourself in the bag will mean that you will soon be receiving an invitation to the local magistrate's court to explain your actions.

Having said all that, there was a good atmosphere on the beach today, people were having fun and even the Punch and Judy man (Known in the trade as a Professor) was happy giving some of his first performances of the season. Sad to say that Jack Ketch has been dropped from the cast but Neville the Devil was there in good voice.

That's the way to do it

As ever, the lovable old rogue was delighting the crowd of small people who enjoyed the audience participation.

Today's Stats are: 16335 steps, 6.96 miles

If you have enjoyed reading this blog why not take a look at some of my other work, My book "The Art of Coarse Boating" is available at: Buy The-art-of-coarse-boating

The beach started to fill up before 7am today, there was wall to wall sunshine from first thing. The hardy swimmers came and went before the crowds really started to gather.  The deck chair man had his first really good day of the season, with most of his chairs occupied by about 11 am. There were even some pedallos out.

I was a bit miffed by the company that collects the refuse from our collection points. one miscreant had used a disposable barbecue on the each and left it next to the bins on the sea front. There were several bags of litter with it and I hoped that they would collect it with the rubbish.  for some reason the driver had taken the tray of the barbecue but tipped the ash and charcoal out onto the pavement. I can't think why. One of my colleagues had to go back with a shovel to clear it all up. Today's money saving tip for parents: Don't buy a bucket and spade for your child, just  get down to the beach early and collect one that has been abandoned the day before. It would appear that it is becoming normal practice to buy new everyday. Considering the huge numbers of people on the beach, many of whom were tucking into fish and chips when I left, the amount of litter was very light. We have, however, managed to fill six wheeled waste bins in the last three days.  There are numerous plastic drinks bottles, as well as cans and glass bottles that will ultimately be heading to landfill, so I feel that there is a good case for returning to the system that I grew up with, namely having deposits on these items to encourage people to return them for recycling or re-use.  We would see crowds of people scouring the town for dumped containers to return.  When we went to New England some years ago there were centres where you could take cans and bottles and get 5 cents each for them. At today's prices we would be looking at around 15p per item which is added to the price of the drink and would be recoverable on return.
Tonight I'm back at the theatre showing the new Top Cat movie so another full day's work for me.

Today's Stats are: 17598 steps, 7.5 miles

If you have enjoyed reading this blog why not take a look at some of my other work, My book "The Art of Coarse Boating" is available at: Buy The-art-of-coarse-boating

This morning followed a pattern that has been set all week, at first light the weather was very promising and then the cloud rolled in and there were a few drops of rain, the round didn't get wet but the place emptied.  Overheard one parent telling her offspring that she couldn't go on the beach because it was raining, but this was 30 minutes after it had stopped. The poor kid was dressed as though it were winter in Reykjavik and must have been dripping with sweat inside. Didn't find anything remarkable on the beach but got to wondering why people feel that it is OK to leave used wet wipes all over the place.  The teenage tossers had been out last night and my priority was to get rid of all the broken glass they left in their wake. This put me behind on the beach litter pick but I was back on track by 9 am.
The open air theatre in Prince Albert Gardens, so called because it is round in shape, was wall to wall with chip wrappers so I scuttled off down there to sort it out.  the CCTV operators had been watching the miscreants and identified several of them, so they will be getting a visit from the enforcement officers asking for their proposals about how they will recompense the council for the extra work, I understand it will come to about a thousand pounds each.
At last the beach is starting to fill up with people and the grumpy traders are starting to take some cash.
Had an interesting discussion with a group of cyclists who had actually seen the dozen or so No Cycling signs on the sea front and asked if they actually applied to them as well. One of them queried the round sign with the red border depicting a bicycle saying that it should have a diagonal line through it. I suggested he get someone who can read to point out the relevant section in the highway code. Beside three of these signs the text "No Cycling, No Scooters, No Roller blades" is stated clearly so I could only assume that they could not read. Sadly such restrictions are necessary due to the holiday making public's tendency to wander around without looking where they are going. These days this is added to by the fact that many of them spend their days cocooned in the own little worlds with small plastic earpieces in, pumping the rather dubious works of Master Beiber and his ilk directly into what is left of their brain stems.

The world before all the people arrive

Nothing to do until tomorrow morning so here's the day's stats:
Steps: 16335 Miles:  6.96

These stats are brought to you courtesy of an app called Walkdroid, a free Android download.

If you have enjoyed reading this blog why not take a look at some of my other work, My book "The Art of Coarse Boating" is available at: Buy The-art-of-coarse-boating

Another good day on the beach, We did some cleaning up of odds corners where leaf litter and blown sand was collecting along the edges of walls. The beach filled up as the sun came out but a very brief and light shower managed to clear most of them, even though it was over in ten minutes and didn't even wet the ground.  I am amazed at the number of people who continue to huddle under umbrellas even when  it isn't raining.
One little kid was having a tantrum because Mummy wouldn't let him go on the beach, "But, Darling Sweety, we can't go on the beach because it is raining."  Little Screamer wasn't convinced by this, his thinking was clear: !. It wasn't raining, any damn fool could see that. 2. What does it matter if it is raining, the beach is still a good place to be.
Mummy didn't share this view and he was dragged off to the car to go somewhere where the dangerous rain couldn't hurt him. I'm glad, other people shouldn't have to put up with screaming kids, it is about time that parents weren't so selfish and spared a little though for those around them.
When the working day was done I had a nice light supper and went out to play with the rowing club for the Carpenter's Cup competition, I rowed in one race and coxed for the next two,  it was fun shouting at the other team members, trying to get a bit more speed out of them. if the thought of Gig rowing appeals to you, take a look at Swanage Sea Rowing Club

If you wondered what Pilot Gig rowing was like, take a look at this link:
Rowing a Cornish Pilot Gig in Swanage Bay.
The prize from last week's triumph at Weymouth Regatta was a 36 pint barrel of a particularly fine local brew, which we tucked into once the boats were safely back in the shed.

Even though the box was marked "Traditional Cider" and came from the Cider Farm at Crossways near Dorchester, it turned out to be a fine bitter.

The view from the area known as the Spa this morning.
Apparently it isn't possible to swim when the sun isn't shining.

You may have notice references to a place called Bin Central, well this is it, the low dank place at the end of a listed building that is storage for the threadbare brooms and rusty wheelbarrow that comprises the equipment we use.

We had several nice comments from members of the public today, all appreciating the work we do and congratulating us on the way we keep the town. It's nice to hear, I've never heard it in any other job I've had.

Today's stats: 20570 steps, 8.77 miles.
I know the mileage doesn't sound huge but remember that it is mostly done on loose sand whilst wearing clumpy workboots.

Check back tomorrow for more exiting news from Bin Central.




If you have enjoyed reading this blog why not take a look at some of my other work, My book "The Art of Coarse Boating" is available at: Buy The-art-of-coarse-boating

Another early start on the beach.  I'm still wondering about the quantity of clothes deposited on the beach. Weight for weight I picked up more clothing than chip papers. 
Tying for first place for most curious object collected: A Mothercare breast pump, with some milk still in it and a bird cage, complete with water trays, a piece of cuttlefish and some millet. The only thing missing was little Joey himself.
With the onset of some better weather people are starting to come out blinking into the light.  These seems to fit into several categories, There are the Migratory ones who come back every year for the same three weeks, stay in the same guest house, rent the same beach hut and sit outside them congratulating themselves on a job well done.

Then come the Shufflers. They always dress as though they are on their way to the Antarctic, shuffle up and down the sea front moaning about the weather, too bright, too dull, too wet, too dry, too sunny, too windy, not windy enough, you get the idea.

After them come the Health Nuts, they jog along the front bedecked with heart monitors, ipods, hydration packs wearing the latest in running clothes, all can be clearly recognised by the expression of misery and agony on their faces.
A sub set of the Health Nut is the Year Round Swimmer. They glow in the dark, their skin is a vivid red colour and most of them have a strange wobble in their gait.  They are altogether a cheerier bunch than the running people but still manage to complain about the water temperature.  There's not a lot we can do about that.

The last clearly distinguishable group are the indulgent grand parents. They can be seen being herded from Ice Cream stall to beach shop to amusement arcade being ordered where to stand, how much cash to hand over and where they would be going next. Their overlord is usually about two years old and they are the type who are usually giving people hell in shops or on the phone.  The Grandchild always gets away with far more than the child ever did.

Today's stats: 12986 steps, 5.53 miles.

If you have enjoyed reading this blog why not take a look at some of my other work, My book "The Art of Coarse Boating" is available at: Buy The-art-of-coarse-boating

Thank you for reading this blog so far. So far over a thousand people have looked at the blog which probably means that there are too many people at work surfing random blogs instead of working hard. As a professional beach bum I applaud this.

With a day off from the beach I took the time to look into the stats of the blog. I was delighted to see that there are people in all kinds of places reading this blog

As of today I have had hits from: United Kingdom, United States, Russia, Austria, Czech Republic, Australia, Canada, Germany and Ireland.

Who'd have thought it?

To all those people all over the world who are reading, thank you and please send your comments. Also, as I am broke, please feel free to click on all the adverts on the blog as this will generate a little income for me.

Tomorrow I shall be back on the beach, scooping up the detritus of the beach going public. In addition to the daily stats on the number of steps and mileage I shall be adding a new section, the weirdest and/or most disgusting object collected. As today was my day off I took my metal detector to the beach to see what treasures I am missing. I discovered £1.28 and a child's metal sand rake. Just a few inches down there is a mass of stuff that simply walking the beach with a litter picker will not discover.

Apparently the Jet Stream buggered off back to where it should be and gave us a warm sunny day. I also had a later start so enjoyed a lie in so all in all a good day in paradise.  I even had enough energy left at the end of the day to go rowing and enjoy a pint of Timothy Taylor's Landlord ale in the Red Lion afterwards, rounding the day off with burger and chips because we didn't want to mar the holiday atmosphere with slaving over a hot gas hob.  In a couple of weeks we have the Swanage Carnival when we are holding a variety of events, including the Gig racing competition where local pubs, clubs and workplaces enter teams for sprint races in front of the beach. On the Saturday Afternoon of the Carnival is the procession. The Rowing club is entering a float, the theme this year is "Going for Gold" so one of our boats is being transformed into Jason's Argo, complete with golden fleece and hopefully some hunky toga wearing Argonauts and sexy Greek Goddesses, though how some of our ladies can manage that may be a stretch of the imagination. (Cue cries of outrage from the lady members)
Must polish my sword and dig out my sandals.

Considering the higher number of visitors to the beach today, the level of litter on the beach was very low, so thank you, seasiders, much appreciated.  We spent some of the day removing quantities of wind blown sand from the side roads from the beach. It really is amazing how far the damned stuff travels.

Today’s photo continues the theme of grammar and lack of proof reading.

Otherwise a good day, this picture shows how the beach can be in sunshine when the hills are engulfed in a sea fret

Tuesday's stats: 12961 steps, 5.52 mile

This afternoon was a washout for the traders on the beach. You have to feel a bit sorry for them as they pay quite a lot for their pitches and so far this season they haven't seem a lot for their outlay. The only real activity I saw was a family enjoying a game of beach cricket, they were drawing quite a crowd.

They wind was getting up as I left the beach, a stiff westerly was making the flags stand out stiffly and the sky behind seemed to promise some more wet stuff any time soon.

Total stats for today, 16th July:20585 steps, 8.77 miles.  no wonder my ankles ache.

Damn those Gulls!
Another skanky day on the waterfront, rubbish every where and most of it dragged out of the bins by our noisy avian friends. There's a very good case for all the sea front bins to be the enclosed lidded type.
Somebody has also managed to knock over a stone wall at the back of the recreation area, possibly by driving into it but it is at a strange angle to have done that. looks more like vandalism, the mortar looks like sand. no photos yet today, there was nothing worth snapping in the gloom and murk of another rainy morning. Maybe things will have changed when I go back this afternoon.
Daily stats so far:
12510 steps, 5.33 miles. This will be updated later as I am doing a split shift today.

A day for carrot lovers, pedants and anyone who enjoys a stroll along the prom-prom-prom.
It was the usual routine this morning when I hit the beach. The nearest shelter had some recycled stomach contents in it which called for an extra bucket of water to shift. I noticed another errant apostrophe and wondered about the strange ways of people. I found several odd socks on the beach and wondered if there was an amputee in town who is careless with his underwear. The strangest thing, however, was the discovery at regular intervals along the sands, of chunks of raw carrot. These weren't the usual leavings of the kebab and sandwich consumers, they are usually delicately sliced or grated. These were large chunks of unscraped carrot, such you would give to a horse. I found them along a half mile stretch. Even my warped imagination can't work this one out.

A two for one deal on apostrophes today.

I can't work out why potato's and salad's qualify for one yet rolls and drinks don't. When you consider that this is a professionally made sign you have to wonder.

At 6.00 am it was a little more sublime.

It was a tiring shift, today's stats seem a little up on yesterday: 18303 steps, 7.68 miles

Just knocked off from an early shift on the beach. The day started promisingly enough with bright sunshine and light winds. Activity started early by Bin Central as barriers, gantries and PA was set up for the Swanage Half marathon.
There was quite a throng along shore road as runners and their supporters gathered. We got the routine cleaning chores done by 08.30 and by the start time there wasn't much free space along there. The town crier started the race at 09.30 and over 600 runners pounded along the front.
Yet again the weather turned and the clouds rolled in, we had a long shower but it started to dry up and the sun was back by the time the leaders started to come home at the end of the race. There was a fair amount of litter to pick up but it was nice that a lot of people complimented us on the cleanliness of the sea front, one couple from the Cotswolds told me that the main reason that brings them back to the town year after year is the pristine state of the town. It is nice to receive such unsolicited plaudits.

A few of the hardy fools setting out to run 13 miles when most right thinking people are safely tucked up in bed.
Today's stats: 16396 steps, 7.0 miles

Today was a little more lively than previous ones. I worked the 11-5 turn and when I got there most of the hard work was done. The sea front was filling up with larger crowds than usual, the reason being that the Olympic Torch Relay was coming to town.
There was a cavalcade of sponsor's vehicles giving out unsuitable freebies for a sporting event. The Coca-cola people gave out noise making devices and cola but the real surprise was the offering from Samsung.  I was expecting a hand out of plasma TVs but instead they were distributing inflatable dildos marked with the company logo, many of which I loaded into bin bags and threw away later.
Surprisingly there wasn't the expected amount of litter later, a mere four or five bags. Tomorrow the Swanage Half marathon takes place so there should be plenty of activity.

The torch passing Bin Central

I have to say that the build up was more exiting than the actual event. Everything that passed along the road drew an enthusiastic cheer, even the really embarrassed bloke who took a wrong turning and drove along behind the first set of police bikes. The police escort was from the Metropolitan Police and they appeared to be well experienced in drawing the crowds to a frenzy with their sirens and witty banter.  Soon they will be back to chasing down errant motorists and making their lives a misery.  It must be a real treat for them.

Free pop anyone?

If you study the BBC's Torch Cam footage you can spot me at 12.36, standing on a wall taking photos, I'm the one in the Hi-Viz vest looking out of place.

At 6.00 am the world was a shiny place with wall to wall blue sky and whispering soft breezes. I walked the beach, bin bag and litter picker in hand smiling to myself about how badly wrong the forecasters had got it. The tribe of hardy, early morning swimmers were looking like punctuation marks on a glittering calm sea.
Two bags of litter later I noticed a few wispy clouds were beginning to fill the cheap seats in the dress circle and the breeze had become more mercurial.
By the time I knocked off at 12.00 I was dampened somewhat, rain was falling in sheets and the sky was an unrelenting lead colour.
In all of this I couldn't resist finding fault with the very expensive sign that the local snack bar was displaying proudly on the road.

 For those of you who are hard of seeing, the sign on the left contains the word "Potato's"

Today was good for one thing, I didn't have to be there at 6.00 am. I was on the 11-5 shift and when I came on most of the routine work was done. We had a brief visit from the boss from Bin Central to have a brief word about Friday's impending event, the arrival of the Olympic Torch relay.  In short, his message was that whatever we did we were to be overwhelmed by the scatterings of an estimated 15000 people who are expected to line the route which leads along the sea front past our home from home, the beach cleaner's shed.
It was a mixture of sunshine and showers today, so I managed to get cold, wet and sunburned all in one day.
There wasn't anything particular to take photos of today so I will confine this short comment to a note of today's stats: 18811 Steps and 8.02 miles.  Remember that a lot of the mileage is on soft sand so its a bit more effort than it sounds.

total so far: 101871 steps, 43.41 miles.

Today was a better day for the tourist trade, the rain stayed away and it was warm and even a bit sunny at times.
There were, consequently, a lot more people using the facilities and a proportional increase in the amount of debris deposited.  Friday looks to be the busiest day as the Olympic Torch relay is set to pass through the town starting from the Middle school at 12.24 pm.

This morning I encountered a chap taking advantage of the low spring tide to work over the exposed beach with his metal detector.  He managed to find enough loose change to cover a fry-up in the High Street Cafe.  Apparently detectorists may search the beach between 6.30 pm and 09.00 am and are required to fill in the holes they dig. That's rather ironic when you see the size of some of the quarry-like craters left behind after sand castle construction.

Today's Stats: 19231 Steps, 8.20 miles.

Hit the beach at 6 am this morning, The morons had been in the shelter next to the Mowlem again overnight and I quickly filled several bin bags with their Subway debris. Good job there isn't a MacDonalds in town otherwise I would have needed a bulldozer.
once I had got rid of that it only remained to sluice out all the second hand lager and the shelter was ready for today's visitors. There was some very threatening looking cloud overhead but this thinned and the day turned out to be a very pleasant one.

We got quite a bit done today, mostly clearing up after the unbelievable rain of yesterday. My speciality today was breaking down the plentiful broken umbrellas that had been shoved into bins all over the town.  It always amazes me that people still try to use them, even when there is a gale blowing. It is just as illogical as the people who are swimming in the sea when it starts to rain, they rush up the beach and shelter under their towels, then return to the water.  At the end of their swims they try to dry themselves with wet towels.
Enough of the ranting, today's stats are: Steps 18363 7.83 miles. No wonder my ankles ache. I'm beginning to learn about my body, my upper body is handling it well but walking on sand in steel capped work boots is very hard on the ankles and mine are beginning to ache. I sprained my left ankle in 1984 and the site of that injury has flared up and I am more than ready to get my boots off and put my feet up at the end of a shift.

Another shocking day on the beach.  It has been raining steadily all night and has carried in uninterrupted.  We were stood in the shed wondering what was the best option when we noticed that the water was rising in front of the door.  The drains in the road were blocked and water was bubbling up through our drain.  Fortunately there were some sand bags so we secured our home from home and went out into the storm to find the cause of the problem.

We looked on the beach at where the outlet from the gully should be and found that it wasn't there. we looked again and dug down into the sand, a foot down we found the outlet, or it found us, a water spout surged from it and carved a channel down the beach, the road and the area in front of our shed emptied itself in a couple of minutes.  Panic over for now, but later it filled up again.

Despite the horrible conditions we saw four hardy gentlemen take to the water in their swimming shorts.  People were astonished at their fortitude but in truth they weren't any wetter than the rest of us.
The weather precluded any serious cleaning so today's pedometer stats are not record breaking  10511 steps, 4.48 miles

bleagh!
Another wet day on the beach but managed to gather an unholy amount of rubbish anyway.  Managed to embarrass a "lady" who was stood next to me as she shovelled the salad from her sandwich onto the ground right next to me.  I told her I would fetch a brush, when I got back she was gone.
The local power company was working hard on one of their cabinets and when I left work half the town was in darkness, shops closed and the endless din from the amusement arcade was stilled.

Stats for the day: 15937 steps 6.79 miles.

The highlight of the day? My stiff broom broke and despite an attempt at a field repair sweeping activities ceased until an emergency replacement was procured from Bin Central. This kept my distance down for the day.  Next week the Olympic Torch relay comes to town so we will be scrubbing the place up a bit more.

Well that's the first week over and things are a little easier.  The Rock hard work boots are beginning to break in a little, I'm a little fitter than I was a week ago and, eventually, the Sun put in a rather belated appearance.  All week long it has been raining, not particularly heavily but that persistent steady drizzle that gets through everything.  It is said that the Inuits have over a hundred words for different kinds of snow, I'm beginning to think the same way about rain.
This morning I hit the beach at 6.00am and took this picture.  By 10.00 am the sun had burned a hole in the cloud and the beach started to fill up with people. Sand castles appeared as if by magic and it wasn't long before we were treated to the un-endearing sound of a grizzling child.  Here's a thought, why don't we lift the ban on dogs, who make very little noise on the beach and really enjoy racing along the sand, and ban children instead? The dog mess is easier to pick up than the thousands of lolly sticks that are discarded each day. 


For the first time in a very long time I found myself listening to Radio 1 this morning, not through any musical lapse in taste but more because I decided to have the radio on my phone and sadly the only station that I could receive properly was 1. Chris Moyles is beginning to sound as dated as Jimmy Young did back in the mists of time. I also downloaded and ran a pedometer app for my phone.  Today's stats are: 15676 steps and 6.33 miles.  This is actually a reduction of previous days as I have started to load up the barrow with all the stuff I need, rather than keep going back to the shed to pick up a shovel.

So I made it to Wednesday and a well earned day off.  Yesterday was a washout in more ways than one, it rained steadily and determinedly all day and when I got home I was covered with white wrinkles, as though I had been lying in a bath all day.
Tomorrow I get to do it all again but today is precious so it was inevitable that I am sat here trying to fix a friend's laptop.
The Good news is that the sun just came out. I would go for a walk to celebrate but as usual there is too much to do.

Another busy day on the beach. Ten minutes later someone walked past with their dog.

Not so much fun today.  The rain started as I left home and by the time I got to the furthest beach shelter I discovered that the heavy an unwieldy hi-viz overcoat is somewhat lacking  in the waterproof department. The manufacturer must be making them to a very strict budget indeed. I would post the name of the maker but I can't be bothered to go into the other room and look for it. Sadly Swanage has its share of nocturnal morons. Last night they held the Annual Moron Bottle Smashing Championships outside the Mowlem Theatre.  It is noticeable that the local police, who are much in evidence during the sunny weather during the day, seem to disappear at night when all the antisocial behaviour happens. I passed a happy hour in the rain sweeping up broken glass, just in case any of the little darlings come back sober and cut themselves.
Today's work pattern is 6.00am to 10.00am and 3pm to 5pm.  It looks as though the weather may clear for this afternoon's session so I'm drying my clothes and having a bit of a siesta.

Yesterday the beach hosted  the annual rowing regatta hosted by Poole Amateur Rowing club.
The beach was well-attended ( I hesitate to say packed as we are often told by the writing Nazis to avoid cliches like the plague) We passed a very pleasant shift clearing up and pointing visitors in the right direction: "Excuse me, can you direct me to McDonalds please?"
"Certainly, drive up the high street and keep going for about 15 miles, when you get to the A35 roundabout take the third exit, drive four miles to the next roundabout, go right, at the next one you will see Maccy D's on your left.
I also got asked for the local Tescos, Mainline Railway Station and Lidls, none of which we have here.
This Morning I was on the beach at 06.30, at that time of day we have the place to ourselves and today the sun sparkled on the water, truly a magical time to be there. It was a full hour later that the first dog walker came past me and not long after that the first hardy swimmer took to the waves. With the uncertain weather we've been enjoying lately the sea temperature is quite where it should be for this time of year, I've only had one swim this year and that was a bit too bracing.

Question of the day:  Whilst walking down Station Road (remember; the clue is in the name) I was asked directions to the station. I pointed at where a preserved steam locomotive was sending a large plume of white steam skywards. It was about 70 yards away (Nowhere is very far away in Swanage).  To add emphasis the driver decided that this was the time to sound the whistle.
"Oh! so that's the station!" she cried. 

I managed to get a summer's work on the beach at Swanage, working as a beach cleaner.
fresh air, exercise and all the plastic drinks bottles I can carry. I have decided to try to diary the events of the summer as they reveal themselves.

It all started on Friday morning when I reported to the depot in Kings Road to be issued with some natty blue trousers, a couple of acres of hi-viz clothing, some polo shirts and some humungous safety boots.
we started in the rain cleaning down some steps that lead from the field where local events are held down to the shore road.
My first day consisted of litter picking, sweeping and bagging all the detritus that a minority of visitors drop.
The first day soon passed, the weather improved and we left the place shiny and fresh.
Saturday morning at 6.30 am we returned and the place needed our attention again. There is definitely a pattern to this.
There are three beach shelters along the front in Swanage. during the day people sit and read the papers in them, sometimes they snooze. In foul weather they huddle in them for shelter.
At night they become emergency refuges for the terminally incontinent. Thus one of the early tasks for the beach cleaner is to wash out under the benches and disinfect the seats. A lady walking her dog this morning was shocked: "Do you mean to say that people allow their dogs to foul on the seats?"
"No madam, these are human faeces."

The result of two hours picking on the beach.